Happy Christmas
by Third Person Omniscient
Summary: Harry goes to Grimwald place for Christmas holidays. Lupin has a suprise waiting. Mild Weasly bashing, beacause it's just so easy. DH never happened. HPSB. Various others mentioned.
1. Games and Dreams

A/N Hi ya. This is a story I've wanted to do since I saw the fifth Harry Potter movie with a friend of mine. We were both struck by the pure , well, with the risk of sounding like a fangirl, nummyness of Sirius. We also noticed the hugs, touches, and intimate looks between Harry and his godfather. What if, we thought. What if there was more to it than what meets the eye? The following is my little take. Any hoo, this story is mildly AU, to the extent that Sirius is back from the veil, and there is slashynes abound. Let me put it this way, if I owned Harry potter, Ginny would fall into the veil, and book five would end with a happy little slash scene.

Look forward to light Weasley bashing, and mildly emo!Harry.

One last thing, canon has not only been tossed out the window, but has also been run over by a very large truck. And a tank. Yeah, that about covers it.

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Harry had the dream again. The same one he had been having more and more frequently since Sirius had fallen into the veil. Sure at first he had the nightmares, Bellatrix's laughter haunted his nights for months, but he never even had these anymore. All he had were the ones where Sirius is alive, and kissing, nipping, and generally making Harry as pleasured possible. As Harry screamed Sirius' name, Ron usually popped his head into Harry's curtains, and attempting to calm him after he endured what Ron assumed was a nightmare.

"You okay mate? I heard you scream Sirius' name. Same veil dream again? It'll be okay." Ron tried to smile in a way that he assumed looked sympathetic, but gave him the appearance of being constipated.

"I'm fine, fine, just peachy. Go back to bed Ron." Something in the way that Harry said that, it made him a little suspicious, but he wasn't going to delve into Harry's psyche. Who was he, Hermione? Something else was weird too… Why when he checked on Harry, were his blankets pulled up to his chin? It looked like he was hiding something. Ron decided not to think to hard on that, and just did as Harry suggested, and went back to sleep.

Harry however did not. He guessed that he had about 3 hours before the rest of his dorm began waking, so he rose from his bed, and began completing morning chores, such as changing his bed linen, and getting a cold shower. All the while, Harry thought on what the dreams meant. So, Sirius was dead, did the fact that he was turned on by the dreams mean he was a necropheliac? That would be creepy. Really, really creepy. One particular thought, though came and stayed at the forefront of his mind. D_o__e__s__ this mean I'm gay? _He never thought about anyone the way he was thinking about Sirius, male or female. Hell, if Cho excited him about as much cold oatmeal, why then did Harry get off on dreams about Sirius? Was nothing in his life ever even a little normal?

Harry had resigned himself to being the hero, the chosen one, so on and so forth, whoop de do. Couldn't he at least have one thing go by the book? He could carry um, Ginny, sure, yeah Ginny, off into the sunset after killing Voldemort. That's what she wanted since she was ten years old, wasn't it? It didn't much matter to Harry what he wanted. He guessed that it would feel odd not to play the hero anymore. He wondered if Ginny would make him happy. It didn't matter. She would be happy, and so would the whole fucking Weasley clan.

Harry attempted to picture Ginny and him together, and he shuddered. He could see Ginny becoming shrill, especially after she realized that Harry's thoughts lay elsewhere. And she would realize. She was far too bright not to. He decided that these feelings toward Ginny were far worse than cold oatmeal. Harry also decided that he should go down to the Great Hall to eat. It was a bad sign if he started to compare his romantic encounters in the past to breakfast food.

After spending far too much time pondering his love life, or lack there of, Harry noticed that his room mates had already left him. Muttering disparaging remarks about Ron, Neville and the rest, Harry slowly trudged down staircase after staircase to the Great Hall, and his house mates.

"'Lo 'Arry. We were wonderin' when you'd be 'own." Harry just shot Neville a cold look. Neville knew that Harry thought it was gross when people talked with their mouths full. It gave him Dudley flashbacks. Neville swallowed quickly, and returned to what ever conversation he and Dean had been having.

"So, coming to the Burrow this year for break, right mate? You never really said for sure, and seeing as it's the last day and all…" Ron, as usual, trailed off in the middle of what ever he had been saying. Harry just rolled his eyes ever so slightly, and answered his friend.

"Lupine sent me an owl a few days ago saying that he wanted me to come to Grimmauld place over break. The whole order'll be there. Something important happened I guess."

"You guess? You guess? What the bloody hell aren't you telling us? You know what happened, and you thought it would be just hi-larious to keep us in the dark, didn't you?" Ron's face by then had flushed, and his voice had risen to a level that could be heard by most of the table.

"No Ron. I have no clue what is going on. Just a little cryptic message and a chocolate frog. I will never understand his thing with chocolate. "

"Oh, uh, sorry mate. I guess I over reacted a little." Ron shrugged and tucked into his breakfast, which resembled less of a meal, and more of the international tour of sausages.

"Ron, when are you going to learn healthy eating habits? Are you just going to devote your life to meat, and die with a liver that looks like pate?" Harry used Hermione's little tirade to escape the Great Hall unnoticed. He just wanted to find a little corner to sit in while he finished the last few lines on an essay for Transfigurations. Leave it to McGonagall to give homework on the last day before break. Snape would have most likely given them homework as well, but Potions wasn't scheduled for Gryffindors, thank Merlin.

Eventually, Ron, Hermione, and predictably Neville, who had tacked himself on to the trio in a not altogether unwelcome manner, found Harry and added him to the little pack going to Transfiguration.

After seats had been found, essays had been turned in; the lecture of the day began. Unfortunately, the class was to be all theory and no practice. Performing spells would have kept Harry's mind off of the morning's dreams. As it was, he looked down at his book, and allowed his mind to wander. Or he did, until a small note that was charmed to prod him in the arm jilted Harry out of his thoughts.

_Are you okay, Harry? You seem a bit distracted. Penny for your thoughts._

Hermione, unlike Ron, was far more perceptive. Whereas Ron would have written his blank look to boredom, Hermione was able to see that Harry was lost in thought about something important.

_You and I both know that muggles never say that any more. I'm fine, by the way, just thinking about the letter from Lupin. He must have had something important to tell me. _

He sent the not entirely untruthful note back to Hermione. The whole Lupin thing was worrying him, but Harry also figured that dreaming of doing unspeakable horizontal things with his dead godfather did not bode well for concentration.

_Do you want to talk about it?_

_No Hermione. I just want to get to Grimmauld place already. Okay?_

_No need to get __defensive__. You sound like Ron._

_We don't want that, do we? You know he said something about you in his sleep the other night?_

_I am going to have a talk with him, I promise. This crush is getting out of hand. I think he still __believes__ that I feel the same way. I try so hard to discourage him._

_Does this explain the little __explosion__ over breakfast meats?_

_If you get a crush on me to, I WILL kill you. Voldemort will have to just get in line._

_No worries. You're like my sister. I think about you the same way I thin about Ginny._

_What is it with Weasleys and unrequited love? Maybe Malfoy is right about the red hair messing with their brains_

_Oh so kind Hermione.__ Ginny will move on soon. I hope. Probably. Maybe. _

_Face it. You are it for her. If she can't have you, than the girl will either join a nunnery, (and make Ron proud) or fuck anything with a pulse._

_I suddenly feel very sorry for that Pygmy puff of hers_

Hermione read the last note, and left the class laughing to the point of tears, as the Gryffindors made their way to Charms.

"Are you okay Hermione? Do you want to go to the Hospital wing?"

"Just….. Just fine, Ron," Hermione was able to choke out through laughing fits. "You really needn't worry" she said once she had calmed herself.

They made their way to Charms where, in his usual Christmas spirit, Flitwick was letting every class decorate Christmas trees, using only magic. While this was not difficult for the sixth years, some rouge candy canes and ornaments crashed into heads, and at one point, the stack of books on which Professor Flitwick was perched. It took a quick spell from Dean Thomas to keep the man from falling to the ground. It was a nice, easy way to spend a double period. Everyone was laughing and comparing holiday plans. It seemed all the Gryffindors were going home. Neville to his Grandmother's, Dean and Seamus were going to Dean's family house. Something about a lack of parental supervision was mentioned.

The rest of the day passed rather quickly, with busy work from professors, and spots of conversation about holidays. Soon enough, dinner had come and gone, and the some of the sixth years were gathered in the almost empty common room.

"I think we should play a little game. Just to see how much we've learned about each other in the six long years. What do you say?"

"Well, Dean, I think that's a great idea" Seamus gave his boyfriend a little squeeze. "What about you guys?" Hermione, Ron, Harry and Neville all nodded their heads. "Hm, just to make it more interesting, why don't we have a little, uh punishment if you will if you get the question wrong. Hang on a mo." He ran up to the dorms, and quickly returned with what looked like a bottle of firewhiskey. "Every time you answer incorrectly, you take a drink. This is not a game for first years, boys and girls." He slammed the bottle down on the table and turned to Dean for the first question.

"Ronny-kin's crush. Name her."

"Oh, that's too easy. The lovely and talented Miss Granger." Hermione bowed her head to Seamus. "Ron's turn. Hermione's crush."

"Um, me? Yes, of course."

"Wrong Ron. Take a drink." Ron looked a little crestfallen at Hermione's rejection, and took a swig of the firewhiskey.

"Hermione, time to fess up. Who has captured your heart? Dean did his best to seem attentive.

"Does no one remember that I am still with Viktor? Harry, tell them." Harry merely nodded. His friends could be so dense at times.

"Any way, Hermione, we wish you may, we wish you might, tell us Neville's crush tonight."

"Poetry now? Did you boys get a few sheets to the wind before we even started this game?" Dean and Seamus tried, and failed to look innocent. "Thought so. No bloody clue. Luna?"

"Nope. Blaise Zabini. Been together since the second week of school." A loud thump could be heard from the sounds of five jaws hitting the floor.

"Well, kudos to Neville for discretion, and hotness on Zabini's part. Very nice. I approve. Granger, since you not only got the question wrong and mistook this obvious flamer for a boring little straight boy, take a sip."

"Up yours Thomas."

"Not very nice Hermione. Any way, Neville, to continue the pattern, tell us Harry's crush."

"Ginny, I guess."

"Pass him the bottle Hermione." Only Ron looked surprised at that one. The others had been told, or figured out from Harry's slight grimaces when Ginny virtually molested him at meals, that Ginny was not who Harry wanted in the slightest.

"If not her, than whom, Oh savior of the wizarding world?" Harry panicked.

"Hey, uh, I got to go. See you in the morning. Enjoy your game." He all but ran away from his friends. While he was leaving he heard Ron telling off Dean.

"Everything was going fine, and then you had to bring up fucking you-know-who! You made Harry all upset!"

"Me thinks our little four-eyed friend has a secret that he wishes to keep as such."

Harry changed into his pajamas, guessing that the best idea for him at the moment was to go to bed. That way he could be prepared for what ever lay ahead when he returned to the mighty house of Black, or as it stood now, Potter.

In a few hours, Harry had awoken to a door opening. He peaked out of his curtains and watched as Neville came through the door, supporting Ron, who was quietly singing some song about not wearing underwear. He helped Ron to his bed, and made two more trips to retrieve Dean and Seamus, whom he threw on to Seamus' bed. Finally, Neville made his way in to his own bed, and muttered something about Hermione being on her own. Harry was vaguely amused for the few minutes longer that he was awake before drifting back to sleep.

Harry was the first one awake. He had a wonderful dreamless sleep. At least he told himself it was wonderful. Since he was the first one, Harry took it upon himself to wake his most likely hung over room mates. It was not an opportunity he could pass up. He quietly said a quick spell that opened the drapes, flooding the room with light. He then said one more throw open the curtains around the beds. One final spell, and a sound like an over eager alarm clock with a mega phone went off in the room. Harry was met with death glares from all of those who had been sleeping off the night previous.

"We need to get ready to meet the train," Harry said sunnily, and only received more glares. "I have hangover potion in my trunk. Get dressed, and I'll dole it out." His roommates grumbled, but they pulled themselves out of bed, although it took cajoling from Dean to remove Seamus from his bed, but a threat involving months without sex did the trick. Harry was able to corral the boys, and get them all down stairs, where they were supposed to leave their luggage.

"Hey Ron, remember your underwear?" Harry asked, remember the drunken singing.

"Harry, you are my best mate, but you get weirder by the day." Neville laughed a bit, he was just sober enough at the time to remember.

Harry glanced around for Hermione, only to find her sprawled out next to the table they had been sitting around last night. He shook her shoulder, and gave her the last of the hang over potion. Hermione promptly freaked out.

"I still have to get my things and I need to change, and shower, and gather a few books for the train, and, and…" She began to hyperventilate.

"Calm, it is okay. Your room mates tossed your things in you trunk. You don't have time for a shower, but you can clean up a bit." Harry pointed his wand at her and quickly did a spell that took the wrinkles out of her robe, and tidied her hair, as much as could be expected. She calmed down, and walked with the rest of those who were leaving down to the Great Hall, to be taken down to the train.

Harry, Ron and Hermione climbed into a carriage, and were taken down to the train. Both the ride to the train, and the ride to King's Cross Station were mainly silent. Hermione and Ron were both still nursing headaches. The potion had helped, but it did not completely iradicate the symptoms. Harry tried his best to keep his mind busy. At one point he was reduced to reading his potions book. Soon enough, however, the train stopped, and three distracted sixth years met Mad Eye Moody, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley at platform 9 and 3/4. They packed their things in one of the ministry cars, and left the station.

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"Do you think they'll be here soon? I haven't seen Harry in months. It's not fair really. But he's coming for Christmas!"

"For the last time, they should be here soon! Now calm down and take that stupid bow off of your neck."

"But I didn't get Harry anything for Christmas, so I'm his gift, you know, me being back and all. I have to look the part. Besides, I have to give him something to unwrap."

"I am going to pretend I did not just hear the innuendo in that."

"You are such a killjoy." At that moment, there was a tentative knock on the front door of number twelve Grimmauld place.

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OMG! Who ever could it be? I heart sarcasm. Can you tell?

Yes, everyone needs a bit of Christmas in September. Just don't overdo it on the virtual 'nog.

Please R&R! Every time you ignore the little blue button, someone posts a badly written story where Ginny has her way with Harry! (Shudders at thought)


	2. Remarkably interesting trainers

A/N: Hello my darlings! I have returned! To all of you who reviewed, and/or set my fair little story to their alerts, you guys rock! And, I am very happy to see that my threats worked. Badly written Harry/Ginny could scare me into doing a number of things. Any way the threat stands. Wait, no, I am upping the ante. If I don't get enough reviews, I shall turn this into a dream, and have Harry wake up beside Ginny. Dun Dun Dun. Okay, I'm bluffing. That would freak me out too bad. And congrats to those who figured out who was talking at the end of the last chapter. Again, mass rocking on your part. And congrats, Lara, I am updating just for you… And everyone else. Now, ONWARD!!

Do I own this yet? Go check to see if OotP now ends with a slash scene. It doesn't? Well then, you have your answer.

Oh, one last thing, before I bug you to death, at the end, there are some italics, they are Sirius' thoughts.

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"THEY'RE HERE!"

Remus clutched his ears. Sirius knew that he had sensitive hearing. He had been told more then once. But of course when Sirius was excited, he acted like a teenager, and forgot most, if not all of his manners. Or he at least was worse than usual.

"Now you get the door. I want to surprise them. Look all sombre and boring. Or better yet, look normal."

Remus glared at his old friend.

"Yeah, just like that!"

"Funny Sirius. Just bloody hilarious" said Remus, before pushing Sirius into the drawing room, and pulling open the door. It took all the control passed down to him through far too many years of pure blood training for Sirius not run out and wrap Harry in a hug the moment the door had opened. But he couldn't.

He and Moony had a plan. It was a very good idea, or at least he had thought so when Remus had suggested it. After Moony had found some ancient spell that tore him out of the veil, he had been struggling with this decision.

Sirius had thought it was a good idea to surprise Harry. It was a good idea, but he just wanted to tell Harry that he was okay. His last memory before he fell into the godforsaken drapery was Harry's face, showing his pain and rage at Bellatrix. Sirius had spent most of his time within the veil contemplating all of the nasty things he could do to his cousin, when and if he ever got out.

He would have to say that the worst thing about the deathish existence was the boredom.

He was completely alone, with no one to talk to. Sirius needed to talk to someone. Hell, even in "fucking Azkaban" as Sirius insisted on calling it, he had the other prisoners, and even Dementors to talk to. Even though they never did respond. Sirius had never met a being alive that didn't have some sort

of opinion when it came to Quidditch, but maybe Dementors were different. When Moony rescued him, Sirius talked practically non-stop. Every little thought that popped into his head had to be uttered aloud; including the far more off color thoughts. Remus really did not need to hear that he had a nice arse ten times a day... Eventually though, Sirius regained his composure, and did not blurt every thought aloud. However, when he became excited, as he had been for the last couple of days before Hogwarts released its students, things tended to slip out. He would just have to call again on that great pure-blood training.

After what seemed like hours, Hogwarts' golden trio and Remus Lupin entered the drawing room, only to get virtually attacked by a very impatient Sirius Black. Giving in to temptation, he enveloped his godson in a bear hug which was promptly broken by said godson.

"Bill, Charlie, Fred, which ever one of you this is beneath the polyjuice potion, I don't really care. If this is some grand plot to make me feel better, you failed miserably. If it's just some little prank… I dunno. I have to go." Harry turned quickly and left the room silently.

Sirius slid down onto the floor. This was not how he expected this to go. He had at least expected his godson to smile, not to have that broken, empty look on his face.

"This… this fucking sucks!"

Remus had to suppress a chuckle at his friend's inability to express himself without using expletives.

"Sirius, is it really you?" Ron walked over to him, and poked Sirius' arm.

"Yes it's me, and what the hell did you do that for? It hurt!"

"Well, I didn't know if you were like a ghost or something and haunting this place."

"Look, if I was a ghost, don't you think that I could haunt some place better? Why would I stay here?"

"I see your point. Why stay here when you can haunt changing rooms?"

At that Hermione slapped the back of Ron's head.

"That was entirely inappropriate and you know it."

"Lighten up Hermione. Seriously. It was a joke."

"Sure, fine, whatever Ronald. How did you come back? Isn't it supposed to be impossible?"

"Moony found some old spell so bippity boppity boo, here I am. Been what, a couple months now?"

Remus nodded, and smiled at Padfoot's Disney reference.

"What's so funny, and what's with the boopity boopity bip stuff?"

"Don't worry about it Ron. It's not important." Hermione turned back to Sirius, who had moved to one of the room's plush, yet uncomfortable chairs.

"Why did you wait so long? Why did you just let Harry wallow in his guilt?

He thought you were dead, and it was all his fault. You should have owled him the moment you stepped out of the godforsaken veil."

Ron rolled his eyes. Hermione had perfected the art of the rant. Sirius, who was no where near as familiar with some of Hermione's less well documented talents looked ashamed.

"I'll answer for him, seeing as Padfoot has been shamed into silence. It was just a lack of self control. Sirius wanted to kidnap Harry from Hogwarts on the first night he was back, and sulked because I told him no. Once he was back to normal, or as normal as he would ever get," Sirius took a brief break from his pity party to shoot a glare at Remus, one that went mostly ignored, and met with a sugary sweet smile. "It was so near Christmas time when Sirius was not about to spill the contents of his thoughts to anyone within a three meter radius, that we just figured that instead of the Burrow,

everyone would come here for the holidays. Sirius had also decided that since he hadn't bought anything, his very presence would be Harry's gift, hence the ribbon." The ribbon indicated by Lupin while still around Sirius' neck, was currently being tugged at, and generally in the process of being slowly played with to death.

"I was an idiot, stupid. Should have told him. Had a right to know."

Sirius had begun mumbling under his breath, just loud enough for the werewolf in the room to hear.

"You were not an idiot. This was a good plan."

"How the bloody hell did you hear me Moony?"

"Two words: Full and Moon." At that Sirius started humming.

"God dammit Sirius, Werewolves of London is not my personal theme song, and Warren Zevon was not god on Earth."

Hermione and Ron shared a look. As dense as Ron could often be, even he could tell that this was an oft occurring argument between the two men.

"The bloody song was written for you! I mean, you like Chinese food; you live in London, and are a bloody werewolf! And if the late, great Warren Zevon was not a god, how do you explain Excitable Boy? Huh?" At that, Sirius burst in to song, and howls, as he sang Werewolves of London, much to Remus' chagrin and embarrassment.

"Please. Stop. Now."

Sirius, finally realizing that he was not only toeing the line, but doing the samba on it, had stopping singing. He had now begun to pout.

"You both do realize that you are acting like you are back in school, right?"

"I at least do Hermione, but when he begins that stupid song, and no I don't want to hear that it's not stupid, that's the only thing that gets through to him."

Ron began chuckling.

"Merlin, Snape was right, you two do argue like an old married couple."

Sirius took a brief break to shoot a look at Ron that rivaled the ones Harry had received that morning.

"You know, I really feel the love Sirius. Honestly, I do." He rolled his eyes.

"Look, I'm going to go talk to Harry. Honestly, the boy gets more emotional every day. Like a girl, he is."

Hermione smacked Ron's head again.

"I think I should talk to him. It's my fault that he's so upset in the first place. Maybe I can get him to believe that it's really me, not one of the multitudes of Weasleys." Sirius had a way of saying this that conveyed nothing but a bit of humour, so Ron didn't throw himself into a rage.

"Good idea Padfoot. Just try and make him understand that he was never supposed to be hurt, okay?"

"Moony, you do realize that I can comfort my own godson, right?"

Sirius snapped bitterly, because a voice in his head was telling him that no he could not comfort Harry.

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When he entered the room, Sirius found Harry with his face buried in a pillow.

"Who's there? I heard you come in."

"It's me, Sirius. We need to have a talk."

"Are you honestly still trying to tell me that you're Sirius? Do you really think I'm that gullible? Next you're going to say that you have a nice bridge in New York that you want to sell me."

"Harry, sit up. I am going to sit here and you are going to see if there is any sign of a polyjuice potion wearing off. If you see a single red hair, you can hex me into next Tuesday. Agreed?"

Harry slowly sat up, and turned to face the older man. God, even if it wasn't Sirius, the man was still hot…

He almost smacked himself. Those were bad thoughts. Inappropriate thoughts. Thoughts that were reserved for dreams, and the occasional wank. At the moment, Harry needed to focus on what "Sirius" was saying. He supposed it was a good idea, all things considered. He could even put this impostor to the test, and see if they had even done their homework.

Sirius extended his hand, and Harry shook it. Sirius lowered himself into a chair beside the bed, and waited. He had a feeling that Harry was planning something.

"I want to ask a few questions."

"Ok."

"What was my father's nickname, and why was he called that?"

"Jamie was called Prongs because his animagi form was a stag. Do you really plan on asking easy questions all night?"

"No. I plan to ask questions that are easy, only if you are actually Sirius. Anyway, what did I call you in my letters?"

"Snuffles. Bit embarrassing, really."

"Uh huh. And you and Snape were best friends for how long?" At that, Sirius' eyes grew wide, and his vaguely amused look turned to one of disgust.

"EW!! I would never be friends with Snivellus! How you can be so twisted, I don't understand! That's like saying I enjoyed the company of Regulus! You have a sick, perverted mind Harry Potter!" Harry, despite apparently being sick and perverted, burst out laughing.

"You're really back aren't you? It's really okay again, isn't it?"

Sirius said nothing, but pulled his godson into the hug that got so rudely interrupted earlier, by Harry running away.

"I honestly don't mean to be ungrateful, but do you mind if I get some sleep? It's getting a little late, and I haven't been getting the best sleep lately."

"No problem Harry. I have a feeling that Hermione and Ron will make the same choice soon. Hangovers are a killer."

"How did you know?"

"Honestly Harry, you haven't done as much as I have without noticing even the most well hidden signs. It's a gift really. Now do you want to sleep, or talk? I could do either, but the dark circles under your eyes look to be in danger of becoming black holes as we speak."

"Okay. We will talk in the morning, though."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Sirius quietly let Harry snuggle back into his bed, looking far more content, and flicked his wand a bit, darkening the room instantaneously.

As Sirius walked down the stairs, he passed Ron and Hermione, both dragging themselves up toward their rooms.

"Moony, can we talk?"

"Always. What do you want to talk about? Quidditch scores? The current cauldron prices? A certain "chosen one"?"

"Um, the latter."

"Okay, what about Harry?"

"He finally decided that I actually am Sirius Black. It took a tirade against Snivellus to do it, though. Rather funny, really. I'm so glad that I get to see him again. While I was stuck in the stupid window dressing, I only thought about you and him, how you guys were getting along. Well, I thought of Bellatrix a bit, but only of new and inventive ways of making her suffer. You know that she deserved it! Any way, I always thought of Harry like I had last seen him, but he looks so different now! Tall, and sadder, and hot, and he looks so much more like an adult. I just feel like I missed so much and I've only been gone for 7 months. How can someone change that much in 7 months? You still look the same!" Sirius finished his rant, and waited for Moony to respond. Moony, however looked like his brain had taken a quick trip to the loo.

"Padfoot?"

"Yes very good. I am in fact Padfoot, the great and powerful. Now go do my bidding. Like getting me a sandwich."

"No. Get your own. Padfoot, did you call Harry hot? And if so, please tell me that you just meant that he looked like he would appreciate an ice lolly." Sirius said nothing; he merely looked at his suddenly fascinating shoes.

Wow, the toe of his right trainer was really scuffed. Go figure. Maybe he should get a new pair, or get Moony to fix this one. He had never been that good at repairing spells. But then, if he got new trainers, he could get a new outfit to go with them, and maybe some more clothes, so those didn't get lonely. That sounded like a good idea.

"You aren't going to talk to me now, are you? It's true isn't it? God, Sirius, you would probably find a table lamp hot, but I mean, come on; the boy is Jamie's son! Your godson! Repeat after me, This. Is. A. Bad. Idea."

Sirius wondered if he honestly thought that he had not already had that conversation with himself. Well, it was more of a conversation between himself and his conscience, which sounded oddly like Molly Weasley. Bloody annoying woman that is. If what he had seen was any indication, Molly was going to mother Harry to death. Or smother him in a hug, between those breasts of hers. He wondered if she had ever lost anything down there.

At some point, Remus had started to tap his foot, and glare, so Sirius figured he had two choices, talk about his feelings for his godson logically, or-

"It is not okay to turn onto a dog every time you don't feel like dealing with something! Oi! Come back here!" Moony had begun to chase Padfoot throughout the huge house. Eventually he gave up, not wanting to wake up the sleeping teens, if Sirius' barking had not done that already. He wandered up to bed, and heard whimpering coming from Harry's room.

"Want Sirius. Want Sirius now." He was having another nightmare, obviously. Now he had go find Padfoot, not an easy task, though he was who Harry needed most.

"Hey Padfoot, come here." Remus always felt a little strange treating his best friend of so many years like a dog, even if, he well, was one at the time. He just thought it would be so much easier if animagi kept their human consciousness when they changed. Oh well, nothing he could do to change that.

After calling for him a few more times, a scruffy black dog trotted up to Lupin's left side and nudged him with his muzzle. Less than a second later, a man in dark jeans, a t-shirt, and scuffed trainers stood in its place.

"I heard Harry having a nightmare."

"You didn't try and help him? You're supposed to be the responsible one Remus! Far more than I ever was, or ever will be! WHAT THE HELL?"

"He was calling for you." Moony replied simply.

"Oh. Um, yeah, okay. I'm going to wake him." Sirius seemed a bit ashamed at his outburst. Remus was right, if Harry needed him, he should go.

Slowly, Sirius walked up to Harry's room and silently opened the door, just in time to here Harry scream his name. His eyes snapped open for a brief moment, and then Harry closed them, and began to snore.

_Huh, I guess he did need me, but he's okay now. I think I was a bit late,__though_ Sirius thought.

Despite that, Sirius walked over to the bed, and watched Harry for a second.

He was different when he slept. He looked much happier, and at peace with the world. Odd, because it sounded like he was having some pretty vivid dreams. No matter. Harry was okay in this moment.

His eyes opened again, but it was obvious he was still more than half asleep. He mumbled a bit, but Sirius just caught the words.

"Love you Sirius."

_Oh bugger…_

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I would love to thank my ab fab beta, riseofafallenangel. YOU ROCK OUT LOUD!

I, because I am far too nosy for my own good, have a little question for my

marvy readers out there, what's your fav ship? The most popular one will

most likely get written in, so vote today!

Last but not least, r&r! It makes me happy! And a happy author is a

frequently updating author. HINT HINT. If you do not, well… (Chases after

non-reviewing readers with a pwp Ginny/Harry story) No, I do not have shame,

why do you ask?


	3. Dream interupted

A/N: Yes, I know all of your worlds have stopped turning, and you have been waiting for me to update, totally forgoing food, sleep, and at times, breathing…

Ah, wasn't the little trip into my world nice? The sky is orange with stripes there. Um yeah… My reviewers brighten my day with a little ray of sunshine. Okay, no sleepodd writing. Thought I should warn you. There seems to be a bit of confusion as to the nature of this fic. Yes, it is slash. I just didn't want it to come to quick. These are two people who had never really contemplated that side of a relationship. I just didn't think it was really likely that they would just jump into bed, and do the dance of the beast with two backs. Or just one back, depending on how it's written…..

Moving on, yes I own Sirius and Harry. I have then locked in basement. To be set free send 1 million dollars to- Aw, who am I kidding? I do the disclaimer and then I get depressed. Jeeze. (Sniffle)

Harry's thoughts are included a bit, so:

Sirius _I didn't appreciate the fifth book, just so you know. _

Harry _**Yes, yes Sirius, we all know that. No one appreciated the fifth book. One word. Cho .**_

Watch for shameless Weasley bashing as the rest of the order invades!

Once again, big humungous thankies to riseofafallenangel, my fantastic beta who gets a virtual hug for all the hard work. hug

Seriously, the last bit of the A/N, there are some DH spoilers, and som DH bashing. (I could do a verrrry long rant on the last book, but I'm not gonna. Just read the chapter, it has a shortened version.)

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Sirius was nervous. Or worried.

He was not sure which but was sure that when he figured it out, Moony would be the first one he would complain to.

He was not nervous or worried without good reason. His godson had just confessed love for him. While he was not sure whether the love was platonic or not, the way Harry had screamed his name had not been out of fear, or even anger. If Sirius hadn't known better he would say that the dream had been nothing close to a nightmare, and all of the signs had been misinterpreted. Unfortunately, he was no longer sure he knew better.

He wasn't sure what he felt for Harry, but he decided to save that battle for another day. At that moment, he needed sleep. Yes, that was a good idea. No inappropriate thoughts about godsons and the like. All healthy, clean pure thoughts. About kittens, and unicorns, and fields of daises. Sure.

He silently left the room, walked to his own, and laid down. Almost immediately, sleep claimed him.

_He was sitting on the couch in the sitting room downstairs. He was bored and, desperate for something to do, had begun twiddling his thumbs. He had no idea why muggles talked about doing this so much; it was so ruddy boring. _

_He wasn't sure where Moony was but he wanted him to come. If he was around, Sirius was never bored. He was ever so much fun to torment. But Moony wasn't around, and Sirius didn't want to leave the couch to look for him. _

_As he was twiddling, he heard a noise behind him. He turned and saw that it was Harry. With no shirt on. _

"_Um, hi Harry. Are, uh… are you cold? Or hot, I guess? The whole shirtless thing, you know." Sirius always had such a way with words._

"_Just hot for you." _

_Wow, dream Harry was shockingly clichéd. Hot, but clichéd. Maybe he and Sirius should have a talk about pick up lines. _

"_I see. Well, what can you do about that? Not much really."_

"_I can do this." Harry walked in front of Sirius, and leaned close to cover the lips of an entirely surprised Sirius with his own. Sirius pulled Harry closer, and deepened the kiss._

_Suddenly, Harry pulled out of the embrace, only to place kisses on Sirius' chest, slowly moving lower, and lower, until they were almost at the one spot that Sirius wanted to feel Harry's lips the most. Harry looked up and smiled, and then-_

"Sirius, time to get up! The Weasleys have arrived!" Damn, damn and double damn. Just when the dream was getting good. Ah well, he could yell at Remus later, not only for waking him up in what promised to be quite a wonderful dream, but also for being to bloody cheerful in the morning. Sirius himself was not technically classified as 'alive' until his third cup of coffee. How most of Britain could survive on tea alone was a mystery.

Slowly, and with much force, he dragged himself out of the cave he had created with his blankets. It was warm, and Remus had no right to want him to leave it. It was just the Weasleys, after all. The whole pack was pretty much the same. Except for that Percy. He was an arse, and owed Sirius some money. Despite all of that, he should try and rescue Harry from Molly's mothering. That woman scared him.

Before he had reached the kitchen, where all of the current residents of the house were gathered, waiting for feeding time, he could hear Molly fussing over Harry.

"You poor dear. Never enough food. Always too skinny. Come to Mum Weasley, I shall feed you." As Sirius entered the room he saw Harry pressed into 'Mum' Weasley's chest, looking quite uncomfortable.

"Oi! Molly, let the boy breathe!" He tapped her on the shoulder, enough to send her out of her little tirade against Hogwarts' food.

"Fine Sirius. I'm just looking out for him. My, it's not like you ever did as much," She sniffed huffily.

"I was in fucking Azkaban! The ministry thought I murdered my best friend! I was not in much of a position to take Harry to St. James park to feed to stupid ducks, was I?" Molly could be the coldest bitch alive, if she wanted to be. Bipolar, that one.

Sirius was still fuming when he sat at the table next to Harry. It was not fair at all of her to throw his imprisonment in his face. It wasn't his fault, none of it. Like she was such a saint. He knew tales of her that would make her kill him properly this time if he told. Sirius chuckled quietly to himself, reminiscing on the days before Molly had become 'Mum Weasley'. Ah blackmail, it was the only thing connected to his family name that he enjoyed.

"So how many of you knew?" Harry had suddenly looked up from his breakfast. Remus spoke first. Always so good at explaining things, he was.

"Well, it was more of an accident then anything else. The order was having a meeting, Sirius decided he was a bit hungry, and they couldn't very well ignore the supposedly dead man that was perusing the kitchen for snacks."

"And nobody thought to tell me. Again."

"Well, Dumbledore thought-"

"He thought he was protecting me, didn't he? Of course he did. He never tells me anything important. I'm supposed to save the world, but I have no idea what's going on in it. GAHHH!!!" Harry had worked himself into a quite an admirable state before Remus interrupted.

"Dumbledore thought that our plan was best. I thought that since it was so close to Christmas when Sirius came back, he could surprise you. This was, surprisingly enough, not some big, bad plot against you. Chill with the wizard angst." For a moment everyone stared at Remus who seemed shockingly with it, if just for a second.

"Okaaaay. Stupid plan anyway. I guess I can see the point. Still not nice, though." Harry more said this to himself, than anyone else. He was a little embarrassed over his Dumbledore tirade. It did feel good, though.

"Any way, we have some news." The focus of the table turned to Fred and George, who changed the subject like old pros."Well, we're thinking of opening a new shop in the states. Britain is great, but those accents are just too amusing." At this, Ginny smacked the back of George's head.

"Don't make fun of their accents, they can't help it. Poor yanks, they always get teased."

_When did Ginny become so much like her mother? It has been a while since I talked to her, but she was so sweet then. Ugh. I think she might still like Harry, too. _

It certainly seemed to Harry that Ginny was still in love with him. She took every opportunity to brush up against him, she laughed far too hard at his jokes and she was practically stalking him at school.

_**She's never going to leave me alone. I bet that her family thinks that she'll become Mrs. Potter. The whole lot is as daft as they come. Except Fred and George. Of course, they're only smart in that evil genius sort of way. **_

"Tell them that it was uncalled for Harry."

"I actually think it was pretty funny. I got a really stupid piece of fan mail from some witch in America, said that she wanted my babies." All of the non-Weasleys, and the resident evil geniuses burst into laughter. Ginny left the table in a huff that rivaled Hermione's. She was pissed off, but oh well.

"Oh Harry, why didn't you tell me that I was getting grand god children? I am hurt. My soul, it weeps." Sirius pretended to swoon, only to get a shove from Harry.

"Abuse! Remus, did you see that? He's abusing me!"

"Oh shut up, Padfoot, you git. It is far too early to have to deal with you."

"Oh, what happened to cheery Moony? Turn that frown upside down!"

"Sirius, you need warm milk. Or a cast iron frying pan to the head."

"But then you wouldn't take pleasure in all that is Sirius, would you, Harry?"

_Oh damn. That was not what I meant to say. It sounded so, well, dirty. Harry probably won't see it like that though. He's too innocent. Yup, no way in- Is that a blush. Shit. Why did I say that?_

"Yes, and we wouldn't want to deprive the world of such a loud-mouthed arrogant, annoying wanker, now would we?"

_Ah, thank god Remus was able to turn it into a joke. He'll probably try to have another talk with me later. Oh well. Such is life._

"I have to go upstairs. I have an essay for Snape." Harry left the table as quickly as he could, the blush still painting his face a bright red. As Harry walked, he could hear Sirius ranting about the greasy git, and Remus attempting to defend him.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he threw himself into the first open room, and lay down on the bed.

_**I am such an idiot. Sirius obviously didn't mean what I thought he meant. Really, it's Sirius; of course he was just playing around, teasing really. He always teases people. Never in a bad way, he just likes to make fun of every one and every thing. He never means it in a mean way of course, not like Dudley, or Malfoy. **_

_**It really is far too much to hope for that he might actually like me. Besides, that's probably against the law or something. Eh, at least I know I'm not a necrophiliac any more. That was pretty creepy.**_

_**Wow, this bed is comfortable, and I didn't get much sleep last night. I bet no one would mind if I took a quick nap. Yeah, that sounds like a rather good idea… **_

Soon, Harry had drifted in to sleep.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, bringing him out of his nightmare.

"Harry, are you okay? It didn't seem as bad as some of the ones you have been having, but it didn't look pleasant."

"Oh Sirius, it was so weird. I dreamt Remus had married Tonks, and she was having a kid! And then they died, but I have no idea how. Mrs. Weasley said bitch at some point. And I killed Voldemort, but it was like it was just one of his spells that just bounced back to him. And I was married to Ginny! And we had three kids! And one had a very unfortunate name!"

By the end of the explanation, Harry was nearly hyperventilating. Sirius enveloped him in a hug.

"Oh, it's okay. We know that those things could never happen. Tonks is too annoying. Do you really think that Moony would marry someone who said 'Wotcher' that much? Honestly, the man needs someone whose hair stays a uniform color." By this time, Harry was laughing into the crook of Sirius's neck, where it was still buried in the hug.

"And about the very unfortunate name, as long as the kid wasn't named after The Great Greasy Git, or a bodily function, I don't see the problem."

"Well, um, Severus was only the middle name…" He trailed off at the look of shock on Sirius' face.

"My god. What is the world coming to? Did I even get a nod?"

"I have no idea. I really don't want to think about this dream anymore. It was way too odd. Let's talk about sports. Did you see that game? With that team?"

"Uh huh. Yeah, they were really fantastic, especially that one guy, with the thing. Come on, it's almost supper time. Molly will send the troops out to find you if you don't come down. I just came up to my room first for a clean shirt; Ron spilled some kind of drink on this one." Sirius stood up, and picked out a shirt from the dresser.

He couldn't help himself, not really. It was like his eyes had minds of their own. It still wasn't a bad sight though... Harry wondered if that last thought could win for understatement of the century. His gaze was fixed on Sirius, who was at the moment, changing into a clean black t-shirt.

Sirius was on the skinny side, but that came from muscle, not the malnourished look that Harry sported until about his fifth year. His wavy black hair fell just below his shoulders, giving Harry a strong desire to run his fingers through it. However, past all of that, the things that always caught Harry's attention, and kept it were the tattoos.

If Sirius was wearing a proper shirt, you could never see them. Well, except a bit that might happen to pop over the neckline. No one could ever see the art until Sirius was shirtless. The only one that Harry found odd was a small picture in the small of his back of the muggle cartoon character hello kitty. There had to be story to that, and Harry had a feeling that it involved far too much firewhiskey, and a dare from one of the Marauders.

Far too soon, the show was over. The tattoos were hidden, and Sirius made to leave the room.

"Oi! Come on, out of your dream world. What, are you fantasizing about you and Ginny?" He smirked as Harry just sent him a dirty look. "Ah, you know I'm just kidding. She's far too much like her mum."

"Well, one day she will make some man very hen-pecked. Oh, and Sirius, sorry for falling asleep in your room. I just needed to leave the room, and I was still pretty tired."

"I know. You had that nightmare, where you were calling for me. Remus heard some of it. I just heard the scream at the end…"

"You heard? I was just having the veil dream, you know? Yeah, just that one. Nothing to fret over. Just same old veil dream."

Unfortunately, Sirius was no where near as clueless as Ron, whose intelligence had once been equated to a particularly dim rock. Sirius at least could tell when Harry was lying. Like he was doing at the moment.

_Well, if he doesn't want to fess up, I won't make him. He would just try to feed me another badly told lie. _

Eventually, they found places at the table, and found that Dumbledore had arrived. His eyes were twinkling like mad. Oddly enough, Harry and Sirius had the same thought involving all the numerous ways and reasons they hated that twinkle. It almost screamed 'I know more than you do! Ha ha ha! I know better than you do! I shall control your life! Tee hee!'

"Stupid twinkle," Sirius grumbled.

"Did you say something, dear boy?"

"Not a thing professor."

"Ah, good. Well, I just wanted to come, and wish you all Happy Holidays. I don't really have much time, so Happy Holidays!" With that, the man left the house.

"That was odd." Others around the table nodded in agreement at Fred's statement. "But then, the old bloke has always been a bit of a nutter. Hey, let's eat, right?"

The Weasleys took that as their cue to dig in. Remus was far more slow, and mannerly, and Harry and Sirius just picked. Each was distracted by their own thoughts of right, wrong, and at one point bunnies, the dastardly things. It wasn't until Sirius realized that he had made a small mountain out of mashed potatoes, and that peas seemed to be sledding on it that he knew he had a problem. Eventually he was going to have to talk to Remus.

Gesturing to the werewolf, Sirius got his attention, and they both excused themselves. Once they were in the privacy of the Black family library, and Sirius had put up silencing spells, their little chat began.

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I promise that the chat shall be, if nothing else, informative. So, just hang on for the next chapter. I just had a feeling that with my plan for the next chapter, here would be a good place to stop. Any hoo, I have a few wee little notes.

Any one want to venture a guess as to what this is in reference to?

I admit it; I borrowed an idea from an adorable Sirry fic_Bowling of Frustration and Persistency_, by MairiNathaira.

Okay my winning ship was Sirry! Followed by Harry/Remus, and Sirius/Severus.

Lastly, I love all of my reviewers! You guys are awesome, and should continue reviewing. HINT HINT!

Please click the little blue button, for if you do not, there will be a graphic Ron/Hermione sex scene in the next chapter. (I thought that eventually, H/G would stop being as big of a threat…) But if that's what it needs to be, I can always write in one of Ginny's dreams. I know, I'm mean. Deal...


	4. Angsty talks, and odd nicknames

Thanks so much to my lovely beta riseofafallenangel who made this readable, and to Catherine, who's help on what to do with this chapter, and suggestions about the last chapter's awkward dialog helped a ton, and were rewarded. (With spoilers for this chapter, get your mind out of the gutter!) Of course, I can't forget all of those who gave in to my threats and reviewed. No Ron and Hermione getting it on for this story.

Uh yeah… sorry this took so long. I had to write an epic poem. Those things take time! And I sort of found a Tokio Hotel fan fic site… (if anyone wants the url, please ask. It's fantastic… Ever so much Bill/Tom.) And I started reading FAKE again… (Most awesome for those manga fans out there) Enough excuses, on with the story!

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"So uh Moony, how are you on this fine day?" As he spoke, Sirius heard a crack of thunder. "Uh yeah… I think that we need to talk."

"Nothing good ever comes from those words. Just spit it out Sirius."

"Fine Moony. Can't a guy make small talk any more? Jeeze."

"Many people can make small talk. You, my dear friend have never mastered that skill. Now tell me what's going on."

"Well, you know, we haven't talked about you in a while. How're things? Got a new love interest? Hmm?"

"Uh not really. Not for a long time." At that both men fell silent, until, as always Sirius felt the need to listen to him self talk.

"That sucks. I could try and set you up with some one. How about that? Kingsley has been making eyes at you." Padfoot nudged his friend.

"You do realize that we're here to talk about all of your numerous problems, right?"

"Fine, then Dr. Phil." Sirius threw himself on to a well placed couch, and proceeded to count his issues off on his fingers. "I have mother issues. The old hag won't shut up. My house has been infested with Weasels. My best friend is an unsympathetic werewolf who needs a good shag. I can't cook. I talk too much. I apparently can't make small talk. And finally, I have very inappropriate feelings toward some one who I know doesn't reciprocate. Happy?"

"Quite. Now then, you can ignore your mother, or just get one of those muggle jack hammers. I've heard they can be quite useful. The 'weasels' will leave. I am quite sympathetic; you just need a kick in the arse sometimes. You don't need to cook. You can get everyone else to do it for you. You could always try shutting up. Small talk is overrated. Now who do you have feelings for?"

"Ha! So you do admit that you need a good shag!"

"I never said th- Oh hell, who am I kidding? But that can be addressed later. Now answer my question. Or I shall force it out of you?"

"Don't feel bad, even the best of us succumb to our animal instincts. Sometimes they're just closer to the surface, say about once a month." Sirius was rewarded by a sharp smack to the back of his head. "Ow. Bad Moony. For shame. You shouldn't hit the pretty people. "

"I don't see what that has to do with hitting you. Now, I'm serious, answer the fucking question."

"Meany, you know that I'm Sirius." Suddenly, he sat up, and looked at Lupin. "Look, nothing leaves this room. I feel like a perv already. Imagine what Molly would say."

"It's Harry, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Sirius barely whispered his answer, but it was loud enough for Moony.

"Well, what do you want me to say? You're sick? You're a perv? Hate to break it to you Padfoot, but my guess is that you have said that to yourself already. Look, just don't forget that he's Jamie's son. And that he's only 16. And that you have no idea how he feels. And that very few people will approve. And that technically, you're dead, at least as far as most people know. And that…" He was suddenly cut off by a very perturbed Sirius.

"Come off it already. I already thought of all of that. I already decided that I'm not going to do anything, so you don't have to worry."

"Sirius, can you tell me honestly that you really think that any part of this might be okay? Harry is bloody 16! That's illegal, even in the states, and Merlin knows they can do anything there… But still, don't you remember when he was first born? How can you think about Harry like that? " It wasn't often that Lupin seemed to truly disapprove, but when he did, there was no question.

"Moony, I would explain it if I could, but the best I can tell you is that, you at least got to seem him grow up a little. I've heard you talk about how you would go to his school, just to check and see if things were generally okay. I never got any of that. You can remember all of it. I can't. Not that it was for lack of trying…" He trailed off, as his normally cheery face clouded over. Sirius tended not to speak of his lost years, and changed the subject if anyone was idiotic enough to bring them up.

"I just can't believe you'd do something like this. It's so… so fucking like you, you know that? I don't know why I'm even surprised. Of all the idiotic things you could do, you had to choose this one, didn't you? Merlin Sirius, you just came back from the dead, or wherever the hell you were and you decide, 'oh, yes. Let's jump the bones of my best friend's underage son! Won't that be grand?' Are you really that devoid of common sense that you can't even see the problem there? I knew that Azkaban warped your mind, but really! What the hell is going on in your head?"

"It's not just some shag, Moony," Sirius replied, almost inaudibly.

"What do you mean; it's not just some shag? He's just some stupid conquest to you; I can see it in the way that you look at him!"

"You do realize that I am capable of thinking with the brain above my belt, right? I think… I think I might love him. But of course, that must be impossible for a skirt, um, pant chasing cad, such as myself, correct?"

"You love him?"

"Yeah, I do. I don't know why, but I do. I know it's not right, or normal, but I really do."

"Are you sure?"

"Well it feels like it did then. Well, sort of. It's different, but similar."

"Wow, really couldn't be any more vague, could you?"

"Nope, I work hard at this level of ambiguousness. You do know that I'm not going to act on this right? I'm not quite that dim."

"Is that even a word?"

"It is now. But really Moony, I mean it. You must have more faith in me. After all these years…"

"I know, I know, I just can't help it. There is a big flashing neon sign in my head saying 'NOT OKAY! MUST STOP NOW!!' What's worse is that the sign seems to have very bad grammar."

_He made a joke. This is good. At least I'm probably not going to die tonight. If I did, that would be what, the third, fifth time?_

"Just let me ask you a question, okay? You are not going to do anything that is a) stupid, b) guaranteed to backfire, or c) going to permanently scare anyone forever and ever, right?"

"Don't you have any faith in me at all? I am always brilliant, my plans never backfire, and if people get scared, it is their own fault for being weaklings!" Moony responded with a silent glare, something he perfected when sharing a room with James and Sirius.

"Okay, fine. I promise, happy now?"

"Not really, but I guess there's not much I can do is there?"

"Well, you know, if you didn't you wouldn't be good old over-protective Moony." Sirius looked up at the werewolf and grinned. "If James and I couldn't break you of your worry-wart ways, I would worry if a couple months without me could. You would have to be doing some pretty kinky shit with Kingsley." With that Sirius dashed out of the room, just avoiding the book launched at his head.

**_Thank Merlin I have my own room. How the hell could I explain these dreams to Ron_**

It was true. Harry's dreams were getting worse, or better depending on what mood he was in, now he knew for sure that Sirius was alive, and well, and sleeping right down the hall. Not that that made any difference of course. But which ever factor it was, Harry had been having stronger and more vivid dreams.

He had also been berating himself more fervently in his waking hours. After a quick nap in the middle of the day led to some rather freaky dreams involving rope, he really began to question his sanity. There were so many problems with them that Harry didn't know where to start though he had a feeling that the fact that Sirius was old enough to be his dad should fall at least close to the top of his list.

He began to do what he normally did after being woken up by a dream, Sirius related or other wise; he paced. Usually, the walking helped clear his mind. Something about the rhythmic patterns, or some crap. Hermione was blathering on about it last week. He only listened enough to nod at the proper times.

After a half an hour of pacing, Harry finally realized that it was not helping. Well, he could always try booze. At the very thought, his conscience, which seemed shockingly like Mrs. Weasley began a tirade on underage drinking. Though he really didn't think it would matter if he lost a couple of brain cells, he did always have Hermione, to get the little 'Mum Weasley' in his brain to shut up; he decided that a cup of hot cocoa would be better.

He grabbed his invisibility cloak to avoid any awkward explanations, and silently made his way down to the kitchen. Finding it empty, he threw the cloak onto a chair that mysteriously vanished, and began to rummage around in the pantry to find milk and chocolate.

Soon enough he was standing next to the stove sipping his drink. Suddenly, he heard a noise. It seemed to be footsteps, and laughter. Sirius' laughter. After a moment of indecision, Harry covered himself with the cloak, and went back to his amusing little magical marshmallows.

When he next looked up, there was Sirius, leaning back on the opposite wall.

"So, if I was a certain golden boy, I would let the hem out of my magical little cape, if I didn't want people to notice that thanks to my growth spurt, my toes peaked out at the bottom. I would also probably get a new pair of socks that my toe didn't stick out of. I probably would be asking myself why I was hiding from possibly the coolest person ever to walk the face of the earth. But you know; I'm not a certain golden boy." Harry tore off the cloak once more and glared at Sirius.

"Ha bloody ha. My sock does not have a hole…" He trailed off, as he actually looked at his sock, and realized that he could stick his big toe through the hole. "Damn, when did that get there?"

"Oh dear Harry, such language. It might scar my poor little ears."

"This coming from the man who says fuck every other sentence?"

"No I fucking well do not, you little mother fucker!" Both he and Harry burst out laughing. "Well, now that we have dissuaded any myths about my piety and such, why would a golden boy such as you be up so late?"

"Don't call me that."

"Just teasing B-W-L"

"What?"

"Boy Who Lived. I'm testing out nicknames. Harry is far too boring. Well, Snuggle Bunny, why are you up so late?"

"What the fuck?"

"Like I said, just testing 'em out. Come on, out with it Skippy!" Harry just shot Sirius a confused look before speaking.

"Dream."

"Bad or good?"

"It depends on how you look at it. I suppose it could easily be either."

"Ah, one of thosedreams. Well, who was it? I promise not to tell. But, if said person had red hair, and freckles, I will laugh and generally be mean."

"No red hair. No worries, not a Weasley. Ugh, what a horrible thought. Thanks for that one."

"That's what I'm here for; to make your life miserable, Harry-Warry."

"No way. Far too close to Won-Won. I thought you were supposed to offer guidance at a time of need or some shit like that?"

"That too Bob, that too."

"Okaay then… Well, if I asked you a question would you answer, and actually try to help?"

"Of course, what's trouble," He paused to glance around the kitchen to find a new name, "lighting fixture?"

"Getting a little desperate, are we?"

"Screw you." He stuck his tongue out at Harry in a true show of his maturity.

"Aw, what kind of attitude is that?"

"Well…"

"Don't answer that. Now, come on, I have a problem."

"Well, tell me all about it, Mr. Kite."

"Um, yeah. Beatles. Wow. Well, any hoo, what would you do if you like some one a lot, but realize that there is almost no chance that they feel the same, at least without an almost lethal amount of alcohol. And that would kind of defeat the purpose, right?"

"Well, that is quite a pickle, George."

"All of that sounded wrong coming from you, and besides, George might get a little confusing, don't you think?"

"Yes, quite. You know Harry, sometimes, near lethal amounts of alcohol can be fun. Uh, not that I would ever advocate underage drinking, and if Molly or Moony everfind out that I just said that, let's just say that you won't be that boy who lived for long. You got me Moose? "

"I got you. You suck at nicknames; did anyone ever tell you that?"

"No, Bob they haven't. Ah! I Sirius, the source of all wisdom, have come up with a solution! What you should do is tell this mystery person that you like somebody, and go to them for advice as to how to tell them. Yes. That is perfect."

"What if I already tried that that and he was too thick…" Harry seemed shocked by his admission. He had just figured out as much himself, and was not prepared to tell any else. Especially not the person who had been the catalyst.

"Well, if it's a guy you have to be far more direct. Just tell him. Subtlety only works on someone without a y chromosome. As much as I hate to admit it, men are idiots. Hey, are you okay Harry?" He seemed a bit pale.

"Uh yeah. I just haven't told anyone yet, um, yeah… Well, at least I'm not a necrophiliac!"

"That is true Bob. You should never try to have sex with something that can't consent. This public service announcement has been brought to you by the letters S, T, and I."

"Fantastic. Hey, why did you decide on Bob?"

"It seems a little boring, and the kind of name a very dull person might have. It's perfect for you!" Harry copied Sirius's earlier motion and stuck his tongue out in annoyance.

"Thanks though, if I ever get the courage up, I will take your advice."

"If you ever grow a pair, tell me how it went, okay?" It was the false concern and sympathy that set Harry off.

"DIE!" He then threw the first thing he could grab at Sirius's head. Unfortunately, it happened to be the bag of marshmallows that Harry had taken from the pantry earlier.

"I think that might just be my cue to leave. Adios Bob."

**_That, at the very least, could have gone worse. Could have gone better too, but such is life. I do think that he should switch to decaf. Speaking of that… Aw, my coco's cold. Might as well throw it out and go back to bed._**

****

_I wonder if there was anything to any of that? Probably not. Wishful thinking. Just like the other night, when Harry was dreaming. There was nothing to any of that. Stupid of me to even think that maybe… Nah, I'm just being a pervy old man. Moony was right. This is so twisted._

As he was falling asleep, Sirius could have sworn he heard his door open, but of course it was his imagination. Why would any one come into his room? Besides, who was up, besides Harry?

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Okay, so I finally got another chapter out. It's your turn to click that lovely blue button. If you don't...hmm... Ah! Lupin, in a mad attempt to release his 'frustrations' does the nasty, and I mean nasty, with Molly. And I will write it out in detail. Please do not make me do that to Lupin. He does not deserve it.

I would like to make all my readers a promise. My story WILL be done by Christmas (2007, for any smart asses that would like to comment 'yeah sure, but Christmas 2010!') And I will have a present, to be posted Christmas Day. A bunch of short drabbles. Not only that, but all you marvy readers get to tell me what you want them to be about. Just give me a sentence, a word, a feeling, whatever, and I'll write a drabble based on it. I will keep wiring them up until December 23, so I will keep taking challenges until then. Well, bye bye until the next chapter!


	5. Everyone is scarred forever

I gotta say it, don't I? Grrr… DAMN YOU ALL! (I mean that in the nicest way possible.) I do not own the loveliness that is Sirry. If I were to be sued, they would get my laptop, and a couple bottles of vitamin water. (It is the pomegranate type, so it might be worth suing for.)

Well, I _guess _enough people responded, so no creepy, creepy Weasley sex. But really, any sex involving Weasleys is creepy.

Sometimes, I think I may be too mean to the Weasleys, but then I think of Ginny and I'm okay again.

As always, much love to that beta 'o mine, riseofafallenangel. You rock, babe! Speaking of rocking… I wanted some new music and was going through the new music on itunes. It was there I saw it- Grace **Potter,** live at **Sirius** studios. Coincidence? I think not!

Any way, I need more drabble suggestions people…

Finally dearies, I would like to thank my reviewers, who make this all worth while, and for responding to my threats! Moony shall not be forever scarred by creepy het! (At least not in this story)

Onward and Upward! (Oh look, random book quote!)

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"We have to lay them out, you bastard!" Harry suddenly awoke to Ginny's shrill scream.

"Do you really still believe in Father Christmas? You're how old now?" He felt sorry for Fred, who seemed to be arguing with his sister.

"15 years old, thank you very much!" Harry, even though he was still, let's face it, hiding in his bed, he could practically see Ginny puff out her chest, and glare at Fred. "What makes you think that he's not real? Are you honestly that jaded and cynical?"

"Yes. Yes I am. Are you honestly that naive and pitiful that you think that every year some old bearded dude in a robe comes down the chimney, and puts presents under the tree for all the good little children?"

"YES! And I am not naive!" Harry guessed that he could probably sneak past them, and get some breakfast, because he was positive they were having their row in front of the fire place.

Surprisingly enough, he was wrong. There they were, at the bottom of the stairs. As soon as he saw the flame of red hair, he made to turn and go back to his room, but unfortunately, Ginny spotted him.

"Harry, honey there you are! Be a dear and tell Fred that Father Christmas is real for me, would you?" Her voice was practically dripping with syrup, and Harry had to struggle to see his friend's little sister, and not a miniature version of Mrs. Weasley, with smaller, less traumatizing breasts.

"Ginny, please, I never believed in Father Christmas. I never got gifts until I started at Hogwarts. And why the bloody fuck are you calling me 'dear' and 'honey'?" She seemed shocked and angry, and seemed to pity Harry, all at once. She seemingly decided to go with all the emotions, and, after smacking the back of his head, threw her arms around him.

"You poor thing! I forgot that you hadn't ever had a proper Christmas before my family stepped in." Harry shoved her away.

"I am not a bloody charity case. I am the Boy who Fucking Lived, bitch! And you are not my girlfriend! You are a stalker! Go join forces with Creevey or something!" He shoved past Ginny and her brother to the kitchen. Behind him he could hear Fred chuckling, and Ginny screaming abuse.

"So Bob, what was with the 'boy who fucking lived' jazz?" Sirius was sitting on a counter top, eating a piece of toast when Harry swung open the heavy wooden door to the kitchen.

"Finally told off Ginny. She was pitying me. Bitch."

"Merlin, remind me never to pity you. You might drop a house on me or something."

"I wouldn't do that to you. You would never treat me like I was some poor little charity case that had nigh a chance in the world before her saint convention of a family stepped in." Sirius slid off of the counter, and put an arm around Harry's shoulder.

_It would be a bad idea to do more. That is my mantra. It would be a bad idea to do more. Harry would hate you. It would be a bad idea to do more. I could at least give him a hug… No. If I hug him, I might not help my self from hugging… other things. I'm such a pervert._

An audible sigh escaped Sirius' lips, and Harry looked at him quizzically.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm just thinking about how much it would suck to have all that pressure that you have on your head. It must suck."

_Ooh, sucking. BAD THOUGHTS! WRONG THOUGHTS! PRIVATE THOUGHTS!_

_**Ooh sucking. That would be fun. BAD THOUGHTS! Ginny Ginny Ginny. Better now.**_

"Yeah. The stalkers especially." They both let out a laugh, and Sirius decided to ignore his mantra, and pull Harry into a nice, platonic hug.

_This is fine. It is not too close, very platonic, and friendly. Yeah, and emotionally distant. _

"It will be okay. Eventually, the fame will be over, and you will still have your real friends, and no more stupid stalkers!"

"That's nice, I guess. I'm a little worried though. Who will be left?"

"Well, not me of course. You're my meal ticket, you know." Sirius wasn't able to finish the sentence without a small, almost nonexistent smile creeping onto his face.

"You know, if I believed half of what you say, I would have so many complexes right now. I'm the savior of the wizarding world; you should be nicer to me." Sirius took a step back, looked at Harry and scoffed.

"Oh come off it. We both know you hate being called that. So I shall call you Bob. Or Conner. Or Murphy. It's from some movie I watched. Good movie, too. Can't remember the name though."

"Oh really? And who might these people be?"

"Well, they're really cool. They kill bad guys, and the have guns, and fucking rope, and pennies! Pennies, Bob, pennies! Oh, wait, I can't call you Conner or Murphy. You just are not cool enough. You can be Rocco though! He's rather dim, and makes a cat explode."

"What. The. Fuck. It sounds bizarre."

"Well, yeah. But it's good, Rocco." Harry just rolled his eyes and sank into a chair. "What're you waiting for, the breakfast fairy?"

"I don't think Moony would appreciate being called a fairy, Sirius."

"Oh, ever so funny, Rocco. Why are you waiting for old Moon Boy any way?"

"I wanted to talk to him. And I will make sure to tell him that you called him a fairy, by the way."

"Oh? What can't you talk to me about?" Sirius attempted to say the words wit humor, but he seemed a bit hurt that there was something that Harry wouldn't, or felt he couldn't talk to him about.

"I already did. That problem I mentioned last night, remember? I just want his perspective." Sirius is all smiles again. Most people never find out how easy it is to hurt him, and how close to the surface those emotions were. To most people, he just appeared to be a slightly touched, hyper man-child.

"Well, your funeral. Moony couldn't get a date if his sad little life depended on it." As it was with most moments that Sirius insulted his oldest friend, he walked into the room.

"I could never get a date, could I Padfoot? Well, maybe Harry should hear the story of when a certain mutt went out on the prowl and-"Remus found it suddenly impossible to continue with the hand Padfoot clapped over his mouth.

"Oh come now, Moony. No one needs to hear that story. It is the one I'm thinking of, correct?" Remus nodded, and attempted to force the hand away. If Sirius had been paying much attention, he would have noticed that Harry acquired an evil glint in his eye. Remus however did notice. As subtly as he could, Harry reached for his wand, which he had stuck in his pocket earlier. After a quick spell, Sirius found himself on the other side of the room, stuck in a kitchen chair.

"Oh do go on Remus. I think the story might just brighten my day."

"Harry, I do think you are right."

"YOU ARE BOTH BASTARDS! DAMN YOU BOB!" Sirius seemed to be a bit annoyed.

"Sirius, this is Harry. Not Bob."

"Remus, it's a very long story, I'll explain later. Now tell me an embarrassing tale of Sirius being an idiot."

"Wonderful idea. Well, you do know that our dear Padfoot fancied himself the 'Sex God of Hogwarts', correct?" Harry nodded, and Remus continued. "Well, one day, when we were all back in school, Sirius, your father, Pettigrew, and I snuck out and went to the Three Broomsticks after what Padfoot called a 'long day', though if he had his way, every day would be deemed such, and would be finished with a fire whiskey chaser." He paused in his story to let out a quick chuckle. "I'm a little sorry Harry that you were never able to see him in those days, but my guess is that together, you, he and James would have blown up half the school."

_**I'm glad I never met him back then. I've seen pictures. My self control would have been shot.**_

"Well, after a couple drinks, James decided to dare Sirius to try and pick up the next person to walk in the door to the pub. Always ready to prove himself, he agreed. If James won, Sirius had to wear a girl's uniform all day, If Sirius won, James had to. It took a while, but suddenly the bell rang, and in stepped McGonagall. True to his word, Sirius stood up, and sauntered over. From there, he tried to chat her up. The night ended with her thinking that Padfoot was either very, very drunk, or had lost his mind. He ended up stealing Lily's uniform, getting a black eye from her later, though. McGonagall couldn't look him straight in the eye for the rest of the year." By the time Remus had reached the end of his story, Sirius was seething, but Harry was laughing harder than he had ever before.

"Well, at least I had the legs to pull that little skirt off. I know I saw Snivellus sneaking a peak." Sirius had showed his mildly bipolar nature, and swapped his anger for a mix of pride and amusement. "I could still look good in it, and you both know it."

"Um, Padfoot, maybe Harry could have lived without the mental image of you in a skirt? I, however, am unfortunately, permanently scarred. It's a sad thing."

"Aw, Harry doesn't mind. It's probably better than what he had to deal with from that fat lump of a cousin growing up. Besides, I keep telling you, I looked good. I'm sorry Moony, that your mind just could not handle all that manliness in a skirt."

"Dudley in a towel. Just a towel."

"Dear god Bob, what made you say that?"

"Something I saw in the Dursley's that was worse. He wandered around the halls after he took a bath. It was unpleasant to say the least." Remus looked mildly aghast; Sirius looked like someone had broken his mind.

"I'm so very sorry Harry. Just remember, when you are explaining this to a shrink years from now, it was all Sirius's fault. I did nothing."

"I shall blame both of you. Deal with it, Remus."Remus feigned sadness for a moment before going over to poke the still silent Sirius.

"I think you broke him, Harry."

"Does this mean I can throw things at his head?"

"Fine, but not big things. And nothing that will scar his face, when he snaps out of this, he would be mad." Harry grabbed a bunch of grapes, and began tossing them at Sirius's head. And missing.

"You have terrible aim, I hope you know."

"Hey, I look for things, not throw them." Harry heard the door open, and turned to see Ron enter the room. "Hey Ron, grab stuff and start throwing it at Sirius. Its fun, he's in shock."

"Okay… Why's he in shock?"

"Dudley in nothing but a towel." There was a thump as Ron passed out at his feet. "This is far too fun. May I make other people freak out? Please?" Harry seemed almost like a small child with a new toy.

"One person, no more. It would be bad if someone came over and found all the order members out like lights." Harry tore out of the room, screaming for Ginny. Remus listened, and sure enough, there was a squeak, and then a thump. He also heard one more thing, a chuckle, from the other side of the kitchen.

"It was an act, wasn't it Padfoot?"

"Well, how often does Harry get like that? Not often. And he never did hit me with those grapes. I need to teach him how to throw or something. Being a seeker is no excuse."

"You really do love him, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah I do. Sucks don't it?" Harry chose that moment to come running back to the room.

"Remus, there's something I need to talk to you about. Sirius, clear out." As he was leaving, Sirius stuck his tongue out at Harry. "Ever so mature Siri."

"Siri?"

"I get Rocco and Bob, and you get no nickname back? I don't think so. No go and try and revive Ginny, or something. Take Ron with you." Sirius grabbed Ron y an ankle, and trudged out of the room.

"So much has to be explained, but I have a feeling that I would never understand. So, what's your problem?"

"Well, there's this person. And I like them, quiet a bit actually. But they could never feel the same way. It just wouldn't work, and I have thought about this, but I still like them. Any suggestions?"

"Want to give me any clue as to who we are talking about?"

"No. Not at all."

"Well, I can only help so much then. Can I guess?"

"Will you judge?"

"Do I ever? I mean about this kind of thing… Uh, yeah. Are they in this house?"

"Yes."

"Are they a Weasley?"

"No. Ew."

"That certainly rules out a bunch. Let's see, all that's left is Hermione, Kreature, Sirius, and me." Harry suddenly acquired a terrified, mildly squirrel like gaze.

"I don't want to play anymore. Forget I asked anything, okay?"

"Okay then Harry. If you change your mind, I'm here."

"Oi! Happy Christmas Eve! Where's the food?" Fred and George walked into the room, laughing. The only discernable difference between the two were the antlers that had grown on one of their heads, and the miniature Christmas tree, complete with decorations, which had sprouted out of the others.

"Hey Fred?"

"Yes Harry?" replied the antlered twin.

"Ah, now I know who is who. Thanks for that. What's with Rudolph the Red headed Reindeer?"

"It was a prank, gone terribly, terribly wrong. GEORGE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING BACK!!!"

"Oh, but dear brother, when you wake up with a Christmas tree growing out of the top of your head wouldn't you be just the teeniest bit angry at the person who put it there?"

"Not if the person was as brilliant and handsome, and all-around perfect as me. If said person was me, I would be thanking the gods that such a person was taking interest in such a lowly peon as you."

"Has someone been forgetting to take their pills again? You know what mum would say. For shame."

"You know what, let's go fight."

"Okay. Loser has to keep the antlers 'till New Years."

"Fine. Looser can keep the _Christmas tree _until New Years." Fred and George trudged out of the kitchen, arms slung around each other's shoulders, companionably speaking of the various ways they would beat each other into the ground.

"Is there a gas leak in this house? Everyone always acts so odd here."

"I have no idea Harry, I have no idea." Remus would be lying if he hadn't noticed just how odd everyone was, but for the most part, it was never out of the ordinary behavior. The people he chose to surround himself with were never quite all there. Suddenly, the house was filled with the sound of Mrs. Weasley's screech.

"You two! Get off each other! And in the front lawn! What will the neighbors think?"

"Remus?"

"Yes Harry?"

"What the hell are they doing out there?"

"They could be doing a lot of things Harry. I would just not think on it, if I were you."

"I think I'm gonna go and wash out my brain now."

"You do that Harry."

Harry slowly made his way out of the kitchen, and towards the stairs, passing two much disheveled looking Weasley twins on the way. Harry was quite sure he was scarred for always and eternity. Even if the two were just fighting, various images that had been flashing through his head that morning of what Sirius and him might be like, and what he heard Mrs. Weasley say just didn't blend well.

He was about to pass the drawing room, and return upstairs, when he saw Sirius laying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

"Is it really the ceiling really that interesting?"

"I'm just thinking about stuff. Moony help with your problem?" Harry plopped into an armchair, as it seemed Sirius was in no rush to make room for him on the couch.

"Eh, I didn't give him a chance. If I had explained better, then maybe, but as it was… And then the twins came in, so no, he didn't."

"That stinks. Hey, uh do you know what they were doing in front of the house?"

"No idea, and it worries me. Let's not think on it, shall we? No, I think we shall not. So, to blatantly change the subject, how about that game, with that team?"

"And that guy right?" Harry nodded emphatically. Sirius sighed suddenly.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all. Don't worry about it."

"Now I will, tell me what's wrong. Why else am I here, other than to hear your trouble, and kill evil wizards who shall most likely beat me down?"

"Wow. That sounded very bleak."

"Not as bleak as your face."

"Not as bleak as your momma"

"Not as bleak as your daddy."

"Not as bleak as your aunt."

"Not as bleak as your Remus!"

"You win this round. Next time, I shall reign supreme!"

"Keep dreaming. Now tell me what's wrong. If I can gripe and moan to you, it's only fair you should be able to do the same."

"Not about this. This is different."

"Well, unless you are thinking about how to murder me and dispose of the body, I'm pretty much open to anything. So spill."

"Damn, you mean I shouldn't tell you about my murder plots? Ah well. My problem really isn't that big of a deal. It'll sort it's self out soon."

"Sirius, if you do not come out and tell me what your problem is, I will sic a rampaging hoard of Weasleys on you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"Okay fine, I believe you. Must I tell you?" Harry said nothing, choosing to merely nod. "There is someone who I care about, more than I should, and I can't tell them. Happy?"

"Very. Are you going to tell me who?"

"Not on your life."

"What ever. I've got gifts to wrap, see ya." Harry picked himself off of the armchair, and walked upstairs, leaving Sirius to talk to himself.

"I am an idiot. I am an idiot. Merlin, I practically came out and said 'Hello Harry, I want to jump your bones. Never mind the fact that I'm a wanted criminal, not quite right in the head, and am supposed to be dead.' Yeah, match made in heaven. But I don't just want to jump his bones, do I? If I did, this would be so much easier. I could go find some random person to shag, and that would be that. Not difficult. But I had to fall in mother bloody fucking love. I want to be _with _him, and _protect_ him, and bash stupid Malfoy's face in for being mean to _my _Harry. But he's not my Harry, is he? He never will be. I am so fucked." Sirius shook his head, and returned to silently staring at the ceiling, and lamenting his fate.

What Sirius didn't know however, was that Harry had planned to come back in the room, and ask Sirius a question he had since forgotten. When he heard Sirius begin to talk to himself, he decided to listen in. Harry had heard every word.

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Hmm, a bit of a cliffy there, huh? What shall Harry do? He could always, when faced with the actual prospect of a relationship with Sirius, flee, and never return, and become a green grocer in the East End. Or you could review, and the next chapter might have hot sex in it. It is up to you. Click the little blue button, and save Harry from a life of veggies, instead of a certain animagaus we all know and love.

I seriously need drabble ideas, dearies. I have a grand total of one. It is a very good one, but it is lonely. Give it friends.


	6. Moldy Voldy asskicking action

I have returned to save all of my dear readers from the pain and suffering that they must have encountered from the last chapter. It was all a ploy to get more reviews! (Evil laugh). Not really, I just liked the idea of ending it there.

Not mine. Never will be. Oh dear god, this is too depressing. I NEED A HUG!

I heart my beta, riseofafallenangel. She is fantastic, but was on vaca (lucky) and was not able to beta this chapter. If you spot any problems, blame her. Yup yup. I did get much help, advice, and lurve from Lady Starlight So Kiss My Ass.

I would also like to thank the wonderful readers who added this story to their faves, put this in their alerts, and reviewed. (especially reviewed. HINT HINT)

I would like to take a brief moment to direct my wonderful readers to my warning of Emo!Harry. You're gonna need it. Also, there might be a bit of OOCness, but I'm kind of flying blind here. JKR (grr) never wrote Sirry. At least, it wasn't published.

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Harry had heard of people hyperventilating in the past. He was never quite sure what they meant, and had wondered mildly, before something shiny, or Voldemort stole his attention. It was quite a novel experience, there for, that he found himself actually hyperventilating.

Unfortunately he was unable to enjoy said novel experience, as quite the bombshell had just been dropped. Most of his coherent thinking was focused on what he had overheard. Well, that and attempting to regain his breath. Purple was most likely not a natural color for a face to be.

As his wheezing had grown progressively louder Sirius had snapped out of his self-pitting depressive state, and went to see just who was dying outside of the room.

_Oh bloody hell. Oh bloody fuck. Oh fucking fuck. If he heard anything I am dead. I will take a flying leap back into the veil. I will let Moony choose my wardrobe!_

"Harry! Are you okay? Can you breathe? In through the nose, out through the mouth! In through the nose! Out through the mouth! DON'T DIE BOB!" Apparently, Sirius was from the school of thought that said that the very best way to help someone regain their breath was to shake them as violently as possible.

Surprisingly enough, the shaking was helping. Well, either that or Harry's sheer force of will to throttle Sirius for his stupidity. He was able to speak, though through wheezes.

"You are –wheeze- an inbred –wheeze- idiot. Stop shaking me –wheeze- or your balls will get -wheeze- hexed off. When I have my –wheeze- breath back, we need to talk. –wheeze-" With that, Harry promptly passed out.

After poking Harry a few times in the shoulder, Sirius levitated his incapacitated godson onto the couch that Sirius himself had been bemoaning his fate on, just moments before. It was rather awkward; Sirius had to sit in silence, waiting for Harry to wake up. He had far too much time to think.

_He may not have heard anything. But he said that we need to talk. Maybe he just wants tips on how he can have a stunning personality and brilliant good looks, just like me. Not a lot I can teach him really. That's why I'm in the situation I'm in. My life sucks. Badly. Not even a good suck. Any way, I need to think of something that won't cause certain images to form, and cause very embarrassing circumstances to happen if Harry were to wake up. Um, McGonagall in a thong. Dumbledore in a thong. Hagrid in a sparkly pink thong! _

_I may never get it up again. Poor me. Well, it's not like I don't deserve it. Wow, I really do need new trainers. These are just far too scuffed. And some boots. I want some new motorcycle boots too. And some new clothes to wear with my new shoes. And possibly a new chew toy. And maybe-_

"Sirius?" Sirius rushed to Harry's side with all the care and tenderness of a nurse.

"Are you okay Harry? Hey, is there anything you want me to buy you? I was working on a shopping list. Do you think that you can buy Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a store?"

"No. Most likely not."

"Damn. Well the list just lost an item."

"You are insane."

"Wow, just figure that one out, or are we stating facts? Let's state facts. Water is wet. Night is dark. Moony is boring. You are… um good at quidditch."

"Sirius, we have to talk. You need to stop making jokes and be serious."

"But I'm-"

"Always Sirius." Harry had heard the old joke so many times he could finish it in his sleep. "Still, I just need to know if you meant it."

"That I'm always Sirius?"

"You are an idiot, aren't you? Not that. I heard you talking to yourself. I need to know if you meant it. I sound like a chick right now, don't I?"

"I would like to request one last valiant effort to change the subject so as to avoid sounding like a perv."

"No. Tell me."

"Tell me why you're so curious." It was silent for a few moments, the silence growing progressively awkward. Until Harry, finally, found his previously miss placed balls and kissed Sirius quickly on the cheek. And proceeded to loose them again, and talk at the speed of light.

"SoSirius,IreallylikeyoubutIdidn'tknowifyoufeltthesamewayandI'mstillnotsurebut-" Harry's monologue was cut of by Sirius firmly attaching his lips to Harry's own, and pouring all of the pent up frustration, passion, and love that he felt for the now not quite so squirrelly or gangly chosen one.

It was an interesting thing, that kiss. Or at least it was from Harry's perspective. His only real experience prior was Cho Chang, so it was a bit if a shock to enjoy a kiss, and not just consider it to be wet. He had a feeling that if you actually liked someone, and didn't just feel bad for them, it helped. Yet still, when he found himself returning it, Harry was a bit shaken. Then, he just stopped thinking. Well, for a moment or two.

_**I should probably breathe at some point. It would be a bit awkward if I were to die from lack of air during a kiss. Don't really want to stop, though. **_

It didn't turn out to be his choice. Sirius broke the connection and immediately turned his eyes to the floor.

Numerous things flitted through Harry's head to say, ranging from "Holy hell! We have to do that again" to "You. Me. On this couch, right now." What he ended up saying was none of the above.

"I got to go." With that, he made a mad dash toward his room.

Which is why he found it odd when he started knocking on the door to Remus's room.

"Yes?" Of course Harry didn't wait past that, he just walked right in. He found his former teacher sitting at his desk, hunched over some book. Remus marked his page, closed his book, and turned to face Harry.

"So I have this hypothetical situation for you."

"Sure. Hypothetical. Go on, what is it?"

"So, if I hypothetically told someone that I liked them, and we hypothetically kissed, and I hypothetically ran away, what could I hypothetically do to rectify the situation? Hypothetically, of course." All was silent for a moment, while Harry watched a vein on Remus's forehead pulse. When Remus did break the quiet, he was oddly cool and calm.

"I will kill him. Harry, you may want to say your goodbyes, because I am going to kill him."

"Remus? What? No! Why would you want to kill him?" It was then that Remus stood, and grew louder.

"Because you are 16! Because he was your father's best friend! Because he was supposed to be your guardian, not your boyfriend! Do you really need anymore reasons?"

"I met Sirius when I was 13, not 3. I never saw him as a father, anyway. If I had actually gotten to live with him back then, then maybe. But not now. And Remus, may I point out, for not the first time, I am not, nor will I ever be, my father. He's dead. I'm not. I really do think that Sirius is sane enough to realize the difference. And finally, yeah, I am 16. But do you really count when he was in 'fucking Azcaban'? If you ignore that, he's what, twenty-something? Sounds better, huh?"

"Harry, he my have the mind set of someone younger, much, much younger, but the man is still almost twenty years older than you. This is not legal, let alone sane!" Harry looked a bit taken aback. He had never seen Remus so angry, He was always so level headed. Harry was completely lost for words.

"Remus, back the fuck off! It was not Harry's fault. It was mine." Sirius had come to Harry's rescue once again, and had rushed through the door. "I kissed him. If you want to yell at anyone, yell at me. Just please, don't yell at Harry."

"Sirius, I'm sorry I left."

"Don't be, Harry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I actually promised Moony and his vein that I would do nothing, and that no one would get scarred for life. Obviously, I failed on both counts. So go run off with Ginny, instead of your mystery crush." Remus seemed torn between anger and hesitant acceptance of what he was seeing unfold.

"Padfoot?"

"Yes Moony?"

"You are an idiot."

"Why Moony?"

"You are Harry's mystery crush! Have you still not figured that out?"

"Apparently he is denser than I thought, Remus. Ah well, He's got his looks." As soon as the words left his mouth, a Weasley-like blush spread over Harry's cheeks.

"Harry?"

"Yes Sirius?"

"We have much to discuss. Let us leave poor Moony." They left the room and a very confused werewolf in their wake.

They went to the drawing room, Sirius sitting in the couch, and Harry sitting in the chair opposite.

"So, Sirius…"

"Yes Harry?"

"Was the kiss a one time thing?"

"It doesn't have to be…But it probably should."

"Why?"

"Look, Harry, I love you, but all those things that Moony said are true. And if he is all up in arms, how do you think the Weasleys are going to react."

"Yeah, but think about how funny Ginny's reaction would be!"

"Harry, I just don't think-"

"About anyone but yourself. Do you know how often I find someone that gets all that I've had to deal with? How often people just want to be my friend so they can say they were friends with 'The Great Harry Potter'? Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be having a serious conversation with someone, and they flinch each time you say Voldemort? You know, for the longest time, I thought that I would never meet anyone that I could actually talk to that wouldn't be a teacher? Now I finally find someone who understands, and I'm being told that there is not even a chance? This is not fair."

"Harry, everyone would judge you."

"In second year everyone thought that I was the heir of Slytherin. In fourth year, I was an attention grabber. In fifth I was insane. This year, I'm supposed to be the ministry spokesman. I think I'm quite used to being judged, don't you?"

"If you're really willing to risk it, so am I. I just want to be sure that you know what you're getting into. Do you really think you can handle all this?" He gestured to himself.

"How the hell do some people still think you're straight?" With that, he threw himself onto the couch beside Sirius.

"Wishful thinking. It's all wishful thinking. Besides, I think that if I ran off with random women, _someone_ might get a bit peeved."

"Just maybe. I have a question."

"That's nice Bob."

"Please remind me why I wanted to get involved with such an idiot."

"Because you think I'm pretttty, you loooove me, because I'm seeeeexy."

"Come on, be serious. Don't you dare say it. What are we doing?"

"Sitting on the couch. Talking. Breathing. Living. Soon, we may be cuddling."

"But where do we stand?"

"In the kitchen, sometimes over by the door. Usually on the floor though. But really, it's more what you are comfortable with. I would be happy just to be 'that bloke you snog on occasion."

"Well, I would prefer more commitment than that…If that's okay."

"I have to say, this may be the most awkward conversation I have had in a very long time. You are my significant other, and I am yours. How about that."

"That works. Now about that cuddling. Potters do not cuddle." As he spoke, he began to curl up against Sirius.

"Oh my little hypocrite, may I offer a reality check?"

"I am not cuddling. I am resting comfortably."

"Of course." Sirius leaned back against the couch, and was struck that for the first time, it seemed comfortable.

An hour or so later, that was how Remus found them. They were both asleep, and seemed quite content. He took no satisfaction in completing the task that Molly had set out for him.

"Come on, you two. Time to get up. It's time to exchange gifts." Harry responded first, and sat up. Sirius only woke up after a slap to the back of the head, two pokes to his knee cap, and a threat whispered in his ear by Harry. Remus had a feeling that it was, at the very least, colorful.

"Remus, why can't we exchange on Christmas, like normal?"

"Well Harry, this is the only day Bill and Charlie could make it. They have to go back to work tomorrow."

"Poor bastards. Working on Christmas. At least they get to leave the house, though."

"Oh come on, Padfoot. At least you're alive, right?"

"I know Moony, I know."

"Finally! Remus, thank you for fetching them. They look like they just woke up."

"They were each taking a nap Molly."

"Good thing I had gathered all the presents earlier. Except I couldn't find anything from Sirius."

"Well Molly, I just returned from the dead. I really didn't have much time to buy thoughtful gifts for everyone." He could just make out Molly mutter something about it being no excuse, and made to go give her a piece of his mind, but with Remus and Harry each gripping one of his arms, he found it rather impossible.

"Well, George and I have special gifts from our shop from everyone." Suddenly, each person was holding a gift, and the tension was quite forgotten.

Or at least it was, until Harry unwrapped his gift to find his own face staring back at him.

"What the hell is this?"

"It's our Harry Potter gift pack. It's some of our favorite items from our new 'Chosen One' collection." Harry looked down, and indeed it was a basket of 'goodies'. A mask with his face on it, Harry Potter broom wax, and a Harry Potter action figure, that promised, in blinking neon letters, 'Moldy-Voldy ass-kicking action'. Harry waved his wand, and murmured a spell that made the piles of gifts in front of each twin explode in a small cloud of smoke and leave nothing but a heap of ash.

"That was quite uncalled for Harry." Mrs. Weasley seemed to be quite mad, while everyone else in the room, mask with his face on it,

including the twins themselves were fighting laughter.

"Oh come on Molly, the twins know how much Harry hates to be the boy who lived." Molly continued to fume as all of the gifts were opened. No other gift caused so much drama, and eventually, everyone headed upstairs to put away what they received.

When Harry heard the knock at his door, he was sending random hexes at the action figure of himself. He wanted to see if he could make it scream.

"Come in." It was Sirius, with a bow tied around his neck, not unlike when Harry had seen him for the first time during that break.

"Hey. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Okay. I wasn't really doing anything. What's with the bow?"

"It was a stupid idea."

"I am aware it was most likely a stupid idea, but I want to hear it anyway."

"Well, since I didn't get you anything, but I did come back, I thought I could be your Christmas present." Harry sat for a moment, looking Sirius over.

"Do I get to unwrap my gift?" It was a bit surprising to see just how round Sirius's eyes could get.

"Harry, I'm not sure if I just heard you correctly. Can you please repeat what you said?"

"I asked if I could unwrap my present. Can I?"

"That's what I thought you said."

It would have been impossible for the casual observer to discern who moved first. But then, barring possible exhibitionist tendencies, it would be highly unlikely for there to be a casual observer to be present.

Harry's ideas of a good kiss were yet again blown out of the water when Sirius brushed his tongue against Harry's lips, pleading for entrance. He parted them, and attempted to almost battle the intrusion, but soon surrendered.

The two got as close as possible, and still moved closer. Harry could feel himself growing harder, and felt similar evidence of Sirius's arousal against his leg. He was only able to croak out two words.

"Bed. Now." And Sirius stopped, and pulled away.

"Harry, are you sure about this? It's a big step, and I don't want you to do anything you would regret later."

"Sirius, you are the only person I have ever wanted, and the only person I will ever want. Now, shirt goes away." Sirius laughed a brief, barking laugh, and if the voyeur of a casual observer had continued to watch, they would have seen a flurry of activity as clothing was stripped faster than was strictly possible, until the two were on the bed, with nothing between them air, and even that was not in mass.

Sirius suddenly found himself on his back and Harry on top of him, slowly making his way down Sirius's torso, kissing, licking, and nipping as he went. He paused, to pay special attention to a small tattoo on his hip, which even Sirius had forgotten about.

It was a small design with the letters M, W, P, and P intertwined. It had come from, surprisingly enough, a sober trip to the tattoo artist. Harry looked up at Sirius.

"I get one, right?"

"No question." With that, Harry dipped his head down, and took Sirius in his mouth. As Harry swirled his tongue around the head of Sirius's cock, Sirius began to doubt that Harry was quite as inexperienced as he claimed. It was, however, when Harry turned his attention to Sirius's balls that all thought of any sort departed.

Later, after both were spent, and almost asleep in each other's arms, Harry was struck with the thought that just maybe, Slytherin stupidity, The Ministry, and even Voldemort didn't really matter that much.

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Ugh. Believe me, I know. Sappy. And I had to cut a ton. –grumbles- Stupid fanfic. I realized if I had posted the uncut version, the story would have been taken down for content. I really didn't like this chapter, but after tweaking it for days, this is the best that I got. I do promise, however, that the drabbles will be better. If someone wants the uncut version, I can probably email it you them. All I'm gonna say is that the broom wax makes a return appearance.

Ah, hasn't this been fun boys and girls? I like to think so. Except for the drabbles, this is the end. I am kind of disgusted with this chapter to the point of ending it here. I will say that Harry coming out will be a drabble. If anyone wants more, please just ask. I would be more that happy to oblige. If anyone wants me to write anything for them, just ask. I'm awesome like that.


	7. Grab bag of randomness

Okay dearies, my internet is finally working, so now I can actually post this. Happy (belated) Christmas. These are the drabbles suggested by my lurvley reviewers. If there are not very many (which there aren't) blame them.

This story needs dedications. First, my beta, who I hope will continue being my beta, riseofafallenangel. Second, my fanfic partner in crime, Lady Starlight So Kiss My Ass. "Catch you on the flip side." And thirdly, ever one of my reviewers. You guys rock mah socks. Fourthly, all of my readers. Again, much rocking.

Let's get the party started (on a Saturday night)

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Prompt- Harry comes out, and absolutely pointless Ginny bashing. Because it's just that fun.

Word count- 100

"Ron, I have to tell you something. I'm gay."

"What? What about Ginny? Are you fucking serious?"

"Well, not at the moment, but probably later today."

There was a rather loud thump as Ron fainted and fell off of his chair. Ginny rushed over to help her incapacitated brother. She talked to herself as she dragged Ron back to a couch.

"Me, I knew he was a bit light in the loafers. He would have liked me otherwise. Everyone does. The Creevy brothers call me the school broomstick. Everyone gets a ride. Sometimes, I wonder what they mean by that."

Prompt-Sirius gets coffee.

Much thanks to- Sannah

Word Count- 126

His pupils looked like saucers. His whole body was vibrating. And he was flitting about the kitchen in a rather good impression of a pixie on speed.

Worst case scenario had happened. Sirius Black had coffee.

It was this scene that Harry, yawning and scratching his head, walked through the swinging doors to find.

"Sirius! Why the hell did you have coffee?"

"What's wrong with coffee? Huh? Huh, Harry? You are such a party pooper! I don't like you anymore! You are always so mean! Oh, you know I can't stay mad at you. I love you Bob! How about you and I go upstairs and…" It was then that Sirius crashed, and ended up in a ball on the floor, sucking his thumb and snoring.

Prompt- Drunken fun at Hogwarts

Much thanks to- Dysfunctionalspirit

Word Count- 111

"Let's start the new semester off right! With booze, lots of it. Enough to forget a certain person's little sister bursting in, and having to explain why I was 'wrestling' naked with her brother. Who left me to deal with her." Dean, in an effort to amend his transgressions, gave a still very pissed Seamus a hug, only to be pushed to the floor.

Despite it all, everyone joined in, and after an hour drinking fire whiskey, tongues loosened.

"So four-eyes, what did you do over break?" Seamus seemed to be almost sober, but from the empty bottles near him, it was doubtful.

"More like who." The collective gasp was deafening.

A variation on a theme in the key of G.

Both ideas come from Dysfunctionalspirit.

Prompt- Innocent "Is that a g-string?"

Word count- 108

"Harry, is that a g-string?"

"That it is Sirius."

"It's pretty cool."

"Thanks, I thought so."

"Are they supposed to be that tight?"

Molly, who was standing on the other side of the door to the study, heard every word. Not that she was listening in, of course not. But this just confirmed her suspicions. G string! Sirius was entirely unfit to even be around Harry. He needed to be locked up!

"Can I touch it?" That was all Molly needed to hear before swinging open the door to save Harry, only to find a guitar perched on his lap, and two very confused wizards staring at her.

Prompt- Not-As-Innocent "Is that a g-string?"

Word Count- 100

"Happy birthday, dear Sirius. Happy Birthday to you!" After all of his friends finished singing off tune, Sirius felt a slight tug at his sleeve. It was Harry.

"Now it's time for me to give you your present." Sirius was mildly confused, and hoped for a chew toy. He never seemed to have enough.

Harry led him to his own bedroom, and began to treat Sirius to a strip tease, which was just too enjoyable.

"Harry James Potter, is that a g string?"

"That it is Sirius." It was exactly then that Mrs. Weasley chose to burst through the door.

Prompt- The Hello Kitty tattoo

Dedicated to- Lady Starlight So Kiss My Ass

Word Count- 115

"Hey Pads, you should get a tattoo. Ladies love them." Sirius and Remus began sniggering. Peter was so dim.

"I bet the blokes like them too, Sirius."

"And you know Prongsey, they look awesome." And it was decided, after much more fire whiskey, that Remus would accompany Sirius to the tattoo parlor, as Padfoot was completely shitfaced.

"Oh, don't worry about anything Sirius, I'll pick a good design for you, and you can go wait in the chair."

"Such a good friend you are Moony." When Sirius awoke the next day, Remus learned that the fury of a woman scorned was nothing compared to the fury of a Padfoot with a permanent hello kitty tattoo.

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Okay, these are the drabbles. Hope you liked them, they were quite fun to write.

I have a confession, my dear readers. I am thinking seriously about doing a sequel. I love writing my Padfoot. I have no clue what I would write for the sequel, though. This is where I need my readers. If you want a sequel, tell me. If you don't, tell me what you would rather read, because if I'm not writing something, I get quite antsy.

If I do make a sequel, I'll post a non-chapter chapter telling about it.

So, regardless, this is the end of Happy Christmas, but maybe not the end of Sirry, as written by me. A support group will be featured for those who need counseling for their grief.


	8. Previews galore Sort of Yeah

Well my dears, you seemed to have wanted it, so this is no more than a notification. There is a sequel! The title is … Well, I have no idea yet. Hey, I could lie, and tell you some fake title, and when I don't use it, all my readers will be confused. So, safe to say, the next story in this fandom that I post will be the tale you are looking for, and it should be up Monday-ish.

So, I will be willing to give you a sneak peak drabble that will be in, and a few clues as to what will happen.

First the drabble.

Prompt- Home Coming

Word Count- 127.

There was a knock at the door. Exactly the sound that Sirius Black had been waiting for.

"Harry!" He threw the door open, only to be tackled by the teen. The two had not seen each other since Winter Break, and excluding a fire call, and enough letters to put Hedwig out of commission, had not been able to talk.

Needless to say, what could have been a sweet reuniting descended into a make out session almost instantly. And would have ended with a quick fuck before either had said hello, if an ever-so-boring werewolf had not interceded.

"You two! Stop acting like horny bunnies with something to prove! Do you want Ron to faint again?" A thump was heard as the aforementioned Weasley hit the ground.

Well, that will probably make its way in some how. If only so I can use the phrase "horny bunnies with something to prove." Now for the little clues.

1.) Everyone's fave Werewolf will find himself in lurve. Or love, if you prefer. There is only one person that knows for sure who the object of Remus's affection is. Though it won't be a huge surprise.

2.) Fun dream sequences!

3.) Bad jokes!

4.) A non-edited out sex scene. If my current plan works out (which it may not. My plan is about as flimsy as Larry Craig's 'wide stance' excuse as to the Minniapolis/St. Paul airport bathroom scandal.) then said scene will be in the first chapter. And then more shall come.

5.) The Weasleys will not be cast in a good light. But what else is new, huh?

6.) Ginny will get a nickname. Courtesy of everyone's favorite emo Blond, Draco! (let us pause and think of the lovely Dray)

7.) Canon returns! Oh, just kidding. I promise. Hey, I think that one girl needs CPR… oh dear.

8.) There will be emo-ness. But Harry will be made fun of for it, so it's all good.

Well, that's about it for now… See you soon for As-Yet-Untitled sequel!

To those of you who need it, much luck with finals.


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